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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27638618">O P I A</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hakaibunshi/pseuds/hakaibunshi'>hakaibunshi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Puzzleshipping, Yami Yuugi | Atem Has His Own Body</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:47:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,767</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27638618</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hakaibunshi/pseuds/hakaibunshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Love cheats Death—</p><p> </p><p>Atem gets a second chance. But it's not as easy as they had hoped.</p><p>Coming back to this world, not as a spirit inside the comfort of his host but as a separate person, proves to be a challenge. And he is about to lose it. </p><p>But Yugi had reeled him in once before when he was lost in darkness, and he is going to do it again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Atem/Mutou Yuugi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Yu-Gi-Oh! It's Time to G-G-G-Gift! [Mini-Exchange]</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. —</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuzlDragon/gifts">PuzlDragon</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>OPIA</p><p>n. the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable—their pupils glittering, bottomless and opaque—as if you were peering through a hole in the door of a house, able to tell that there’s someone standing there, but unable to tell if you’re looking in or looking out.</p><p>(as defined by The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neither of them knew what exactly had happened.</p><p> </p><p>Some nights the anguish preserved in his body memory came back, the fear of waking up to Atem having moved on.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi remembered his chest falling dull, crushing his heart to pieces when Silent Magician went for her final attack. <em> Too late </em>, he had thought. And he had begged his spirit not to leave, the grief breaking him prematurely.</p><p> </p><p>Atem remembered the bright light, painful silence behind that door, and the innate knowledge that it would lead to rest. And eternal separation. <em> I don’t want to go</em>, he had thought, the weighty chain of Yugi’s plea holding on to him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That day, after hours of fighting, Yugi had collapsed into bed—exhausted from excessive crying and terror. But when he woke up the following afternoon, Atem woke up with him. Their eyes met then for the first time. Their fingers lay interlocked between them, like the idea of a second chance. Atem’s breath was calm but physical.</p><p> </p><p>Two souls now, and two bodies. The balance was charcoal beneath them. Bliss spiked with ambers of insecurity. The first thing they noticed was the quiet. Atem’s thoughts weren’t within Yugi’s mind any longer. A vacancy so clean that even upon closer inspection, there was no trace of the guest who had resided here just the previous day. A whole life packed up to be taken on another vacation.</p><p> </p><p>But the truth was, he had stayed. And thus, their tears were of relief and joy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Prelude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Day 7 <em>post resurrectionem</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Saturday. The late-summer morning peeks in through the gaps in the blinds. It’s 6 AM.<br/>He has been watching the time now for a while, measuring the seconds against the rhythm of his heart.<br/>No trace of the usual early morning drowsiness. Ninety-five beats per minute within the first moments of waking up.<br/>He’s dizzy—but that’s the effect Atem has on him.</p><p> </p><p>Atem is so close, breathing serenity, finally at peace after what had been a short night yet again.<br/>By the time Yugi had drifted off into sleep, Atem had been restless still, fighting battles that Yugi was no longer a part of.<br/><br/>He stays in bed for another five minutes to study the face before him, mastering the discipline not to touch it. He sees it every day, and every day the urge is a struggle. He is bewitched by its lure—or by its being here. Either way, he loves it. The long dark lashes. The high cheekbones. The tiny, faded scar on his forehead. His thick eyebrows, and the small indentations on his temples, now covered by blonde strands of messy hair. He wants to brush them aside but doesn’t take chances on the delicate sleep. Instead, he frees his fingers of Atem’s gentle grasp and steals himself out of bed. Before leaving the room, he opens the curtains halfway. Atem likes to be woken up by sunlight.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. You're my end and my beginning.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Whenever his fingers are left empty like this, he feels a sickness, a hint of nausea. Yugi being gone is a gruesome way to wake up. Prick-eared, he tries to catch a trace of him beyond the closed door. But Yugi has perfected the art of being quiet. The past couple of days had been a balancing act on eggshells, for Atem’s sake, of course. Besides his partner, no one knows about his return.</p><p> </p><p>Atem lies on his front, facing the entrance to observe it. One hand rests beside his head—feeble fingers playing with a strand of hair that still doesn’t feel right. Then again, the fingers don’t either. The other hand dangles off the bed, brushing the wool rug that peeks out from beneath it. Against the weight of sleep on his face, he curls his lips when the door opens.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi pushes the door close with his foot. “Good morning.” The blanket covers only his lower body, leaving his back exposed to the morning. Through the window, the sunlight acclaims his skin so prettily that Yugi grows timid. The twinkle in Atem’s eyes might be tired but not enough so to lose its winsome appeal. Yugi finds it hard to forget his royalty. All things seem to bent before him, always playing in his favor. The way a gush of wind would move the thin curtains away so the shimmer of daybreak could engage with him. Or how any color around him would glow a little different. The blue blanket, the off-white sheets, the gray carpet, the patterned walls, whatever. Everything got caught up in his luster.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning,…,” the pharaoh copies. The early hour scratches his voice. Then his smile disappears, and his eyes close.</p><p> </p><p>A light clutter left by the tray on the desk warns Atem of his partner’s approach. He reaches for the blanket first, foiling Yugi’s attempt to pull it away from him. To his surprise, this lazy body could move rather swiftly. He pulls it up above his head and curls himself into a ball beneath it. He didn’t plan to scrutinize Yugi’s efforts. He just wanted a moment to breathe and find Yugi’s smell in the sheets. It had faded so callously over the past days. Disappointed to find nothing but a mixture of them both, he surrenders, stretches out arms and legs to all sides, and groans. The sound causes his jaw to stiffen, and he wishes he could take it back.</p><p> </p><p>When Atem stretches his entire body like this, he takes over the whole bed. Every evening, he waits for Yugi to suggest getting a separate mattress—for the sake of comfort. Yugi’s bed was never meant for two. But the proposal never comes, and he is grateful for each day it doesn’t. He sits up and straightens his back. No signs of distress, though that wouldn’t trick Yugi.</p><p> </p><p>Atem still fights with nightmares. Some nights he wakes up and grabs onto Yugi for support, cold sweat sticking to his forehead. The pharaoh had kept the memories they had uncovered before their duel. And when sleep crept in, offering no distraction, he would remember dying.</p><p> </p><p>Atem peeks at the tray. “What is that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Close your eyes.” Yugi isn’t a morning person, but he radiates energy despite the time.</p><p> </p><p>Atem’s expression changes into an apology. “I’m not that hungry,” he admits cursively, and his gaze falls away toward his fingers, picking single hairs off the blanket.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi moves the tray from the desk to the nightstand and crawls back onto the mattress. Cross-legged he sits before Atem, whose bangs fall into his face but cover little of the guilty conscience. Yugi brushes them behind his ear, relishing the touch more than he would like to admit. “Your body is.” He says it forcefully but without letting go of kindness and understanding. “You haven’t eaten since yesterday morning. You just don’t want to eat.”</p><p> </p><p>There is no argument to win, so Atem doesn’t attempt it.</p><p> </p><p>“I want you to try this.” Yugi doesn’t like pushing him, but the way Atem misses his—Yugi’s—body and punishes his own in return is hurtful and has to stop.</p><p> </p><p>Atem sighs. “Why do I need to close my eyes?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because I don’t need you to see it, I need you to taste it.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem finally chuckles; of course, he would humor the situation. He shuts his eyes. “I didn’t know you could cook.”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi uncovers fresh pancakes from underneath their tin foil head. “I can’t. But as long as you prepare food with love, it will always be tasty.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem’s eyebrows move, but the lids stay closed. “Doesn’t sound credible…,” he teases, but a smile gives away his anticipation. He opens his mouth. Cheeks flushed, chest caving ever so slightly, his hand rubs across his forearm in a soothing motion.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi finds it hard not to gawk for a moment, But behaves himself and pokes a chunk of maple trenched pancake onto a fork. “Eat it well, okay? Don’t gobble it down.”</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse you! My table manners are indisputable.” Atem shook his head in disbelief over the accusation before carefully chewing the bite Yugi had offered. He takes his time to respond. “We … ate this before.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, is it good?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure. Give me another one,” Atem commands. He adds some theatrical moaning to the next bite. “Hm, yes. It is! You must like me a lot.” Upon hearing Yugi laugh, he opens his eyes. “Pancakes! I thought so.” He scratches the back of his head before taking the fork to help himself to another piece. “But … they were different. I guess that’s because of your feelings?”</p><p> </p><p>“That,” Yugi snorts, and goes for a cheese-toast on another plate. “But more likely because I don’t like pancakes all that much.”</p><p> </p><p>Fork stuck between his lips, the pharaoh flusters for a second. “You tricked me,” he says, not without a hint of admiration.</p><p> </p><p>“You think you know all about our life here already, but you’re wrong. What you’ve seen, you’ve seen through me. You’re different now.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m still the same.”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi ignores the statement, which is—evident to both boys—untrue. “Ever since you … well, now you shy away from anything, no matter how trivial. And that makes sense because … you don’t really know anything yet.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem’s cheeks burn, and his chin drops to his chest. He bites his lower lip and avoids Yugi’s eyes. Playing with the piece of cutlery gives him something to focus on that isn’t the subject matter. But he is listening.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, let me show you again what it’s like around here. You aren’t the other me anymore. You’re Atem now. See it all for yourself. Touch it. Appreciate how amazing it is.”</p><p> </p><p>“I…”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s only gonna be you and me. We’ll take it easy, and if you don’t feel well, we go back home.”</p><p> </p><p>What a sly manipulation. Atem couldn’t possibly say anything but yes. Yugi smiles and chews his toast. Atem takes the last bite of his pancake and licks his lips, which triggers a mirroring reaction in Yugi.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi is aware that Atem wants to avoid the others for now. Jounouchi and Honda are out of town over the weekend. Ryou and Ryuji are busy over a project they kept pretty tight up about. Anzu is working both Saturday and Sunday. This meant he had to scrap his original idea of a date at Kaibaland. He had settled on taking him to Bergen, one of Domino’s city wards. Jounouchi and he frequent the game centers there a lot.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They take the bus because Yugi wants Atem to see the city rather than the countless underground stations. They all look the same, anyway, and hold the potential of making one claustrophobic.</p><p> </p><p>Atem feels uneasy leaving the house, walking down the streets to the station. Each corner poses a threat. The possibility of someone crossing their way, someone who knows him. The need to explain what couldn’t be explained. But walking next to Yugi, close enough to bump into him at times, grounds him. He finally relaxes when the bus door closes behind them. They sit in the back.</p><p> </p><p>Besides them, two young girls are on board, each on their own with headphones shutting out the rest of the world. Further to the front, a suited man speaks on the phone, his voice hushed and apologetic. Atem can’t help but stare. Why are they here? Where are they going? Do they ever ask themselves if they will still be here tomorrow?</p><p> </p><p>As soon as they hit the highway and speed up Atem’s focus shifts. He sees the cars flying past them. The acceleration goes through his whole body, and his heart starts pumping ferociously. He thinks back, about the helicopter and the ship. But there is no memory of those beyond his knowledge that it had happened! Perforce he grabs Yugi’s hand. Whenever a truck tries to pull by, he feels the thrill of getting smashed. His palms are sweaty.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi bites his lip, monitoring Atem, who stares out the window the way a dog would, his head trying so hard to follow the cars rushing by. Whenever the bus hits a rock or other uneven patterns in the road, his grip tightens for a second around Yugi’s fingers. Eventually, he turns to face Yugi. His pupils dilated, a pale halo across the bridge of his nose. “My head is spinning….”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi giggles before handing him a bottle of water from his backpack. “Stop watching the road then.”</p><p> </p><p>“I never noticed how fast they are.” He sips on the bottle and almost splashes water all over him as the bus hits the breaks to turn off the highway. “By Rah!” he scolds no one in particular, closing the bottle. “Is that all Kaiba’s technology?”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi laughs in response. “You know … cars have been around for a lot longer than Kaiba has. Or his company.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem pouts and hands the water over. “If you say so.” He slouches into the seat and watches the sky from the comfort of Yugi’s shoulder, both cozily familiar. Perhaps something out there is watching over them. The sidereal power that dictates his entire existence: All the way from his birth to his death and through the torment of limbo. And now to this awakening that no mortal could have predicted. Only this fateful force knows if he is here by mistake or meant to be. Atem might have to wonder forever just how much time he had been given. “Next time we try horse riding,” he says and watches Yugi’s expression darken through the reflection in the window. Alerted, Atem peeks up. “What?” He turns around then and looks at him, puzzled. “Are … you scared of horses?” He watches the heat color Yugi’s ears.</p><p> </p><p>“I’d call it healthy respect.”</p><p> </p><p>“Any worthy human ought to know how to tame a steed, Yugi.” He leans back onto the shoulder.  “There's no animal to match their grace.” He’d never seen a horse here. But judging by Yugi’s reaction, at least they weren’t extinct.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>About ten minutes later, the bus pulls into the bus park adjacent to Bergen station, which in itself was connected to a giant shopping mall, as were many of the bigger stations in Domino. They get off, and Atem is holding on to Yugi’s sleeve still even as they walk into the main building. It isn’t noon yet, but the mall is already filled with people.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi pays close attention to Atem, who gets caught up on any minuscule detail. Plants, benches, puppies, strollers. In his sincere excitement, Atem shows little regard to the people around them so that Yugi has a hard time navigating him without bumping into other visitors. However, he doesn’t mind that.</p><p> </p><p>“So… What exactly is this place?” Atem asks.</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm … it’s a modern bazaar. I guess.” One after another, he points to the next four shops they pass. “Coffee. Art. Cosmetics. Shoes. No matter what you want or need, you can find it here. Food also, of course.”</p><p> </p><p>The mall stands three stories high, excluding the basement floors, reserved for parking cars. Atem’s eyes go left and right, scanning the place, trying with a hitching chest to understand where and how the layers connect, or how he sees all the way up into the third form all the way down here.</p><p> </p><p>“So. Let’s get you some clothes.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. My head's under water, but I'm breathing fine.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There is nothing to judge by. Atem looks back and forth between two neighboring stores. Just by peeking in, they appear fundamentally different, as if they are meant for different people altogether. Atem, however, doesn’t know what kind of people those would be, and even less to which kind he would belong. Perhaps neither. He seeks advice in his partner’s expression but finds nothing. So he chooses the one to the left. More colors.</p><p> </p><p>It is far from what he remembers bazaars to look like. All around him are small clusters of garments, propped up in short, neat rows. Color-coded to guide his attention through the room. Blacks, to greens, to blues, to reds, to whites. And some mixes between. He isn’t sure where tops start, and bottoms end. Overwhelmed with the riches around him, he doesn’t even notice how he is holding on to a thick wool jacket. When the comfort against his fingertips reaches his brain, he pulls his hand back as if stung by an insect. He looks around, searching for a sign of outrage in another face—someone accusing him of theft.f</p><p> </p><p>Yugi chuckles and picks the jacket off the rack. “It’s okay to touch them as you please” As always, his smile is convincing.</p><p> </p><p>Atem checks the people around them. Everyone else is holding piles of dresses draped over their arms. And no one is paying him any attention. He dares to let his fingers shuffle through another rack. All black here. All button shirts, various kinds but in multiples. He tries his best to pick up on very subtle differences. He picks two and moves on to the next cluster. Black again but thicker. Sweaters. Their gentle softness paints a picture in his mind: Yugi, legs tugged toward his chest, head resting on his knees. The long sleeves would cover his slender arms and hands save the tips of two or three fingers—Sun on his face. The wide cut collar would reveal a leather choker. Atem picks it up and adds it to his collection.</p><p> </p><p>“How about this?” Yugi’s voice is close, but not next to him. He finds him two rows away, holding up a pair of light-blue trousers, far from what Yugi is wearing.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s … unusual?” He steps closer. It is softer than it looks and reminds him of Jounouchi. He takes it and holds it up to Yugi’s waist. “Weird,” he says, although he likes the color.</p><p> </p><p>Again, Yugi giggles in response. It tingles Atem’s ears.</p><p>“Let’s try them at least.” Yugi throws them over his arm.</p><p> </p><p>After they comb the entire floor, Yugi leads Atem to the fitting rooms. They choose a big cubical—meant for a parent with a child—and the clerk monitoring the area looks at them funny. But only Yugi picks up on that. As he draws the curtain close behind them, Atem hesitates, cups the back of his neck, and nods in the clerk's direction. " Taking the clothes off Atem's arm, Yugi responds by crunching up his eyes. “You’re a normal boy now, Atem; you can dress in privacy.” Two pieces start to slide off, but he catches them.</p><p> </p><p>Atem stares at his reflection in the wall mirror. That’s right. Yugi also always dresses by himself. How silly of him to forget. He swallows and studies his partner's likeness through the glass, who is sorting the clothes into stacks. The fact that privacy doesn’t seem to exclude Yugi releases him from his tension. He nods.</p><p> </p><p>“Take off your clothes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hm?”</p><p> </p><p>Atem turns around to face him. “What? Oh… Right.” He does as he is told and takes off the clothes he had borrowed from Yugi. With each piece, he is stripping himself of comfort. With great care, he folds them and puts them down on the side. First, he reaches for a tight, black tank top with a high collar and a pair of tight black jeans.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi says nothing while he changes, though Atem feels his gaze through the mirror. Occasionally, it falls away to the side, underlining a faint blush on his cheeks. Atem wonders what exactly that is about but can’t dwell too much on it, as he is caught up in his own insecurity. Disappointed, he climbs out of the pants again and takes off the top as well. He reaches for something else. One after the other, he tries various shirts, sweaters, pants, jackets, and he thinks it becomes easier to look at himself after a while. Although he still gives plenty of his attention to Yugi’s image in the mirror, sitting in the back of the small space.</p><p> </p><p>Atem sees himself eventually. The young prince he had seen in ancient dreams. He bites his lip and stares at him, and at the differences between him and Yugi that he had spotted all along but never acknowledged. It hurts a little, but his chest is lighter now. He is wearing a cropped black top, exposing his neck, his collarbones, and shoulders. But all these dark tones don't seem to fit. He is about to take it off again when finally he notices just how many shades paler Yugi’s skin is. He knows what he is missing. He reaches for something that can provide contrast: The light blue soft jeans Yugi had picked up first. Atem holds it to his hips and smiles at the result. Hastily he climbs into the loose fit fabric. The hem sits comfortably atop his hip bones. The patch of skin between the edge of the trousers and the top flashes flirtatiously. He doesn’t mind it. Through the mirror, he smiles at Yugi.</p><p> </p><p>“It looks great!” Yugi pushes aside the pile of clothes already dismissed and nods toward Atem’s feet. “I love that your ankles show. We have to get you low-cut shoes.”<br/>
—Atem had stopped listening at <em>love</em>. He would go barefoot if it meant Yugi would look at him like this.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi goes through the pile of clothes at his side once more and tugs out what resembles—in cut only—a short sweater. But it is knit so loosely that there are more holes than fabric. Anything underneath would show. All looks and no protection from any seasons. He still takes it and tries.</p><p> </p><p>Through the holes, his belly still shows. He touches his hand to it. Yugi mirrors the movement, becoming aware of the difference. Atem is a sharp hint of muscles where he is skin over bones.</p><p> </p><p>“Perfect.” Yugi’s voice calls him to turn around again, his smile almost daring.</p><p> </p><p>The cubical has filled up with hot air, but maybe it is just his perception. Atem turns back toward the mirror and scans himself. Atem. Not Yugi. It's not quite enough. Beside him, a chunky wool cardigan sits on a hangar. He grabs it and swiftly adds it to his outfit, oversize sleeves covering his hands. He rolls them up to expose his forearms. <em> Better</em>. Everything is soft and comfortable, and the fabrics fall around his body, hiding his slender physique. Their efforts betrayed only by the exposed ankles, wrists, and belly. But something is still missing. “Can we find some gold?”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi is already collecting the pieces together which they would keep. Including the first one Atem had tried on, though he would keep it for himself. “Yeah.” He sniggers while Atem peels himself out of the clothes and hands them back to his partner. “Of course, we can.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem’s face reveals his excitement. He might be no king anymore. But he remembers he always loved the shiny jewels and stones around his arms and legs and neck. If there is anything like that, he wants it.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi couldn’t be happier about a request like that. He doesn’t worry about the expenses either, because he still has the prize money from the Battle City tournament. No need to hold back.</p><p> </p><p>They spend the next two hours between two stores selling exclusively footwear—they buy three pairs for him and one for Yugi—and finally, end up at a jewelry shop. As they walk in, Yugi is painfully aware that the clerk finds them suspicious.</p><p> </p><p>Atem is baffled by the collection of treasures propped up proudly behind glass. With a shimmer, his iris reflects the spark of a rare diamond collar. But no matter how much he bribes, the clerk insists it isn’t for sale. They leave another hour later with a pair of armlets, a bunch of rings and piercings, too.</p><p> </p><p>“How can you even wear those?” Yugi puts away the piercings with the receipts and sorts the bags on their way up to the second floor.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean? I used to have a lot of rings in my ears.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, but it doesn’t look like the holes have remained…”</p><p> </p><p>Atem touches his ear. “Oh, but that is easy. I can make them. I did it once for Mana.”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi abruptly stops and looks at him, some advance of shock on his face. “Atem. That is…”</p><p> </p><p>“What? It healed alright. Although Mahad was mad. Mine were all done by him … ” With a longing expression, he lets go of his earlobe and takes one of the bags to help Yugi carry.</p><p> </p><p>“You can get it done at a clinic.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yugi, come on!” Atem laughs. “Clinics are for ill people. I can poke a hole in my ear, don’t worry. Or I can teach you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely not. I won’t poke anything through your ear!” Yugi declares.</p><p> </p><p>Atem doesn’t respond. Ryou or Ryuji would probably be willing to do it. They stop at the lockers. Atem is suspicious about leaving all the expensive goods behind unsupervised, but Yugi claims it will still be here when they come back. And what was there but to trust him.</p><p> </p><p>“So, there’s a bookstore over there I want to stop by.” Atem doesn’t know 'over there.’ He still suffers disorientation from how much the stores varied while all looking the same. If one were to live inside this building, there would be no need to ever leave the compound for anything at all. He throws one more look back at the locker and follows Yugi.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as they enter the store, Yugi single-mindedly goes off to the side, while Atem gets caught up by the smell and a strange aura. He finds himself drawn to the shelves. Hives and hives of knowledge and history stacked up neatly. Mahad would die all over for a glimpse into this fast array of poetry and spells, and before long, his fingers trail the bound papers, pulling out one of them fondly while his heart aches for his friend and mentor. He opens the stiff cover and flips through the first few pages. A collection of women. Paintings, emphasizing the love of the artist for their soft physique. He brushes over a pair of silky legs, falling out beneath a heavy curtain. Without even blinking, he skims through the pages, the images leaving behind a desire to get closer to whomever they depicted. He adores the admiration that speaks from the oil-heavy strokes. He looks into the rosy face of a young woman. Her soft brown hair cut to barely fall onto her naked shoulders. His ears turn hot. His neck, too. He averts his eyes and flings the book shut a bit too loud. His hands jitter a little because he saw something he wasn’t supposed to.</p><p> </p><p>He puts it back and trails the shelf a little further. By now, he had seen the sign above, labeling these as art books, so he expects another collection of images. As he goes through the names on the backs, his fingers stop at “Horus.” His stomach tightens, and he hesitates. Such a familiar name, yet it places a fear inside of him. A fear of memories and sentiment buried very, very deep below.</p><p> </p><p>He pulls it out. A photo collection titled “Egypt—Land of Horus.” He smiles, caressing the remains of a temple. Is this all that is left of it? Is this what has become of the immortal land he used to call his home? When he turns the page, he looks upon a dusty back alley, buried in the sand—a faded flashback to a very different time. He yearns to explore them, but that is his ego searching for something that is long lost. He wants to show Yugi all the small hidden secrets in those back alleys, things Mana had told him about. Of course, he knows it is a deception. Because these back alleys weren’t Mana’s, and there were no secret holes to find.</p><p> </p><p>He slides the land of Horus back into the shelf, hoping to leave his grief there with it. It doesn’t quite work that way, but at least he keeps the tears down as he bows his head and apologizes. To Shimon and Seth. To Mana. To Mahad and everyone else … for not joining them after all. For having them wait 5000 years, and bail at the last moment. The rings on his fingers now are a testimony to those memories. He had chosen the ones closest to what he used to wear when he was still a king. Gifts from his faithful comrades. He would wear them proudly, although the over accentuating gold against the darkness of his skin was yet another sign of separation from his partner.</p><p> </p><p>He retracts his hand and turns the rings around his fingers. With every piece of himself that he regains, he lets go of some of Yugi’s comfort. Once he is fully himself, then what will remain? Yugi had never been just a vessel. He was an anchor when Atem’s spirit was adrift and lost in a cruel place. He buttressed him in this life. What if he got lost in the waters once all of Yugi was gone from him? Could he even exist? Would he want to?</p><p> </p><p>Hoping to set aside the sorrow, he takes a deep breath and turns around to find his anchor right there. Yugi leans on a shelf about three meters away, arms crossed before his chest, watching him.</p><p> </p><p>This was the first time Yugi had a chance to observe Atem as part of a crowd, and it was baffling. Others turned their heads and took notice of him. Children. Women. In passing, he had overheard a young couple commenting on how cool he looked. Too bad that this is still lost on Atem.</p><p> </p><p>Atem walks over and spots the small bag in Yugi’s hand. “You got what you wanted.”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi nods, unfolds his arms, and offers one hand to Atem. “Let’s get out of here.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem gladly accepts the warmth and comfort that comes with the touch. He doesn’t look back. And Yugi doesn’t ask why his eyes are drenched in melancholy. They walk past another dozen shops that Atem might or might not have walked past before; it is impossible to tell. He keeps examining the people around them until Yugi stops. Atem tries to assess what he is looking at. The sign reads ’Round 2′.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi finds it is time for Atem to learn that being apart means, in their case, finally being with each other.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Even when I lose, I'm winning.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It’s time to get to the best part of everything.” Yugi watches Atem’s countenance shift. “It wouldn’t be my favorite mall without an arcade.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem remembers arcades. Vaguely. Almost immediately, he gets hooked on the familiar smell of competition as they walk in. The noise and the flashing lights induce him with fervor, although he isn't sure what is going on left and right. He swallows up the atmosphere.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi tows him along, and soon enough, it becomes apparent what he is after: A tall, see-through box filled to the midsection with giant round Kuriboh replicas. “You have to get one, alright?” Yugi points at the contraption above the pool of Kuriboh.</p><p> </p><p>Atem’s heart winces at the idea of having their whole room filled up with the little creature. He almost fails to follow Yugi’s explanation on how to retrieve them. When Yugi drops a coin into the machine, a carnivalesque noise alerts Atem, and he sees the buttons blinking up. To hesitate isn’t in his nature, so he presses one of them, causing the crane arm to jerk out of its position only to stop again right away. “What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi laughs. “It only moves as long as you hold the button. You press it until it is in the position you want it to be.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem’s tongue folds up to wet his upper lip. This round is lost already, but he uses the remaining button for practice. Then, a mellow voice beside him takes his attention. A young girl, cheering for what he can only assume is her boyfriend. Her bright eyes observe him operating the machine while she is bouncing on her toes. Atem watches for a moment as the guy fails under her pressure. Now Atem just wants it more. The couple is fighting for the same prize.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi steps closer and examines the exact position of the crane. “Don't try to get it in one go. Rather push it off the rim with as little moves as possible.”</p><p> </p><p>He tries. The first four times he misses, barely even touching the plush, but by the fifth round, his face grows confident as he has figured out the mechanics. He steps back and studies the situation at hand. “Hm… I’ll do it in four,” Atem claims, loud enough for the competitor next to him to hear it.</p><p> </p><p>In unison, the couple looks over. The girl steps back a little to examine what Atem was working with. Her boyfriend, caught up in the competition now, stuffs another coin in the machine. “Pff … good luck, man. It’s heavy, you know,” he says in a cheap attempt to discourage Atem, whose demeanor speaks of triumph—a look that has Yugi’s belly squirm.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi hands Atem a bunch of coins and steps back. “Don’t betray my faith.” He is so focused that he almost doesn’t hear the girl approaching him. They both stand a meter away now from their partners, cheering them on silently until she clears her throat.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry… Don’t take offense if it’s not so, but… Is he your boyfriend?” Her face is red and hidden partly behind a giant plush bear. Her voice but a whisper.</p><p> </p><p>First, he doesn’t know what to say. He quickly looks at Atem again, then back at her. Because he has not thought about this yet, he giggles. He likes the thought, and the sound of it, too. The way she looks at them. All the things she might imagine. He feels his face flush, trying to see what she sees. “Hmm… I… I guess we’re still figuring that out,” he finally says and is happy with that. They both make an effort to straighten their faces.</p><p> </p><p>As expected, Atem succeeds—in three turns!—, while the other boy gives up and declines with great frustration Atem's offer to do it for him.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s better this way,” the girlfriend declares only to Yugi and with a smile. “He will buy a nice dinner to make up for it.” They laugh together.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess that means, in my case, I’ll be buying dinner,” Yugi concludes as if it hadn’t been his plan anyway.</p><p> </p><p>She addressed Atem, whose arms are wrapped around Kuriboh. “Aren’t you gonna hand it over proudly?” She nods toward Yugi.</p><p> </p><p>“I won it,” Atem teases and tightens his grasp, “He’s gonna have to fight me for it.”</p><p> </p><p>They laugh and finally disband. The girl is waving back at Yugi before she tends to her boyfriend's broken ego.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They scan the room; the air is enriched with flashy noises. Behind crane games and shooting simulation setups, they spot the rhythm and dance games. And finally, the Rush Duel stalls at which both their faces lock onto each other.</p><p> </p><p>They hurry over and find two empty machines. Atem reaches out to Yugi for more coins. So he has understood the concept of arcades pretty damn quickly. When Yugi tosses his coin into his machine, he leans over to Atem. “I won’t duel you.” He selects the “duel a stranger” option before Atem can hit “duel a friend.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem briefly lowers his head. His ribs sit tight in his body. He, too, is afraid of what could happen if they were to face each other again. He selects “random deck,” and the screen reads “match successful” only two seconds later. “Fair enough.”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi bites his lip and grins to himself. “You’ll have plenty of chances to go against Kaiba tho. Look forward to that.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem’s eyes catch a spark, and he leans forward to adjust his seat. His chest expands again at the prospect of meeting Kaiba. But for now, he will have to see to the opponents at hand. “Hey!” He hears Yugi laughing from the side, proving that Yugi is fully aware of what Atem sees before him. “Why is the board so crippled? He just summoned two on first turn and attacked. Is this game broken?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s the Rush Duel format,” he laughs. “I give you three times. The first two rounds, you get your ass kicked; after that, you should have figured it out.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem gives him a quick look. Rush duel ...</p><p> </p><p>He smiles and watches his opponent go at it, slightly offended that Yugi thinks he would need more than one round to claim this format. He loses one. Then climbs the ranks one after another until he earns the highest badge.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Atem!”</p><p> </p><p>Frantically Atem searches the surroundings for Yugi. He spots him by the machine that exchanges paper money for coins. “What is i—”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi grabs his arm and bullies him into facing the right back corner. But as much as he wants to, he doesn’t understand what he is looking at.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t own a single photo of you!” Yugi claims. “All our pictures just show me ….”</p><p> </p><p>Yes, Atem remembers photographs. The one they took after <em> Duelist Kingdom </em> is now propped up neatly on Yugi’s nightstand. Of course, Atem was there, kind of. But then again—as Yugi said—not really. “Why here? Let’s go outside, no?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, no, no, those machines take the picture for you.” Yugi drags him closer and pushes the long, heavy curtain aside that reveals a tiny cabin. It’s not meant for more than one person, but the two slender teens fit anyway; Kuriboh takes a spot in the corner.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, so, this machine is gonna take some pictures of us once I press the button. Make sure to look into the camera.” Yugi points at an invisible lens. Then the screen displays a countdown: 3— 2—</p><p> </p><p>Before Atem knows what’s happening, Yugi reaches around him and covers his eyes with his right hand. Atem, attempting to pull it away, can see the flash between the fingers. He is also annoyingly aware of the strange face he made.</p><p> </p><p>When Yugi removes his hand, Atem looks at him with a pinched expression before running his hand through his hair, ready to complain. But the tension subsides when he meets Yugi’s sweet smile.—flash.</p><p> </p><p>That second flare catches him off guard, hitting him sideways. He doesn't know where to look, still baffled by the solemn adoration he has for Yugi’s delicate features. The countdown restarts. 3—. As long as he pays attention to the screen—2—, he will know when to expect the flashlight and keep his face straight. 1— he smiles plastically into the lens, convinced his efforts are sufficient. But Yugi plays him once more.</p><p> </p><p>“Yugi!” he starts his protest, but the trickster places his lips to the side of Atem’s neck and releases a strong blow of air onto the sensitive skin.</p><p> </p><p>Atem forgets at once about the photo. Caught between the surprise and the intense sensation left on his body, he involuntarily bursts into shared laughter. —flash.</p><p> </p><p>Strangely, it also yields a very different, seemingly independent arousal. He tries to fight his partner off, but the attack had left his hands weakened.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t take it so seriously.” Yugi’s laughter is lifted up by the arcade’s noise around the little booth. “It’s not for your yearbook.” 3—</p><p> </p><p>“But I want at least one decent one!” 2— He allows Yugi to come closer again.</p><p> </p><p>1— Yugi puts his head onto Atem’s shoulder, smiles, and looks up at him, eyes like saucers. And his smile grows wider as he sees Atem looking back, cheeks flushed, lips ever so slightly apart. —flash.</p><p> </p><p>They remain frozen, burning the image into their brains, in case the camera isn’t able to capture the moment as they see it. A rattling sound interrupts the silence between them, and a mechanical voice announces they are to exit the booth on the other side and wait for the prints to be dropped into a small niche outside. Neither moves while the screen falls black.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi is the first to get up. He laughs and lifts his head. “I’m looking forward to seeing how unphotogenic you are.”</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse you?” Atem doesn’t know what it means, but he senses an insult.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re too attractive as is; it wouldn’t be fair to have you look good in pictures as well,” Yugi backhands a compliment as he leaves.</p><p> </p><p>Atem catches a glimpse of himself in the reflection of the black screen. Yugi finds him attractive. All he sees is that he is different. But when Yugi says it like that, he can’t help but believe him. He pushes the curtains away and already hears Yugi’s moaning.</p><p> </p><p>“Unbelievable.” Yugi pushes the small print-out into his hands. “Even caught by surprise, you still look bizarrely graceful.” He says it while rolling his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Atem turns the strip around to check. Although he can’t see what Yugi sees, he is amazed in his own way. How livid they are, despite being paintings. Not unlike the girls in the book, although it carries a very different flavor. He sees the laughter on Yugi’s face and can re-hear it. He looks at his own face, obscured with surprise, and re-feels the sensation of Yugi’s hand around his body and his lips on his neck. All just by looking at this grayscale copy of something that can already be called the past.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi appears next to him. “You like it?”</p><p> </p><p>He loves it. Had he sought all along such proof of them existing next to each other? His heart sinks into his chest like it finally found its place. “I love it.”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi goes to grab Kuriboh off the seat. “Well, make sure to keep it safe.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can keep it?” Atem gushes.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi can’t help himself but snort quietly. By now, Atem should have understood that everything was for him, especially today. “Of cour—” His wrist is pulled away, and he almost drops Kuriboh. Atem’s grip doesn’t hurt but feels a little violent nonetheless.</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, they are quiet, while Atem struggles to find his words. His eyebrows squished together, he lets go of Yugi’s arm just to touch his cheek instead.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi leans into the gesture. His sweaty palms clasp the rim of his jacket, although they want to reach for Atem. He closed his eyes. It intensifies the sensation of Atem’s warm forehead touching against his own and the sound of his slow and meaningful breathing. Meanwhile, Yugi struggles with heart palpitations. When nothing happens, his eyelids slowly lift. “Atem?”</p><p> </p><p>“I miss you.” Atem’s voice is but a whisper, but the damage pierces even himself. “You were … a fortress to me. And I am exposed without it.”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi reaches for his hand and adopts the soft tone. “I’m right here,” he reassured him as if he doesn’t know what Atem is talking about. He understands the feeling. But it is time to unlearn it. “You are your own fortress now.” He closes his eyes again, smiling just to combat the sadness, before turning his face to brush his cheek against Atem’s and break the illusion he had fallen for. If only Atem could see the beauty within the separation as clearly as he did. “And there’s always going to be a secret tunnel between us.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem huffs, and Yugi casually takes his hand and walks him out through the side door of the Arcade, the chaotic noise sealed in by the doors sliding shut behind them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They walk back into the hall. Through the glass roof, the sky has toned down a little, turning away his face from the lavish light of day but not yet committing to the evening. Atem is holding on to the photo strip, Yugi is holding on to Kuriboh, his arms sinking into the soft fur. They retrieve their bags from the locker and go down to the midsection of floor one.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi checks the clock in the main hall. It is past four by now. They should probably get something to keep them alive until dinner. And he still has one more stop planned before that. He scans the area and discovers a shop with frozen yogurt and bubble tea. “Wait here, okay?” He pushes Kuriboh over into Atem’s arms. “I’m just gonna get drinks over there.” He disappears as soon as Atem, combing his fingers through the thick fur, gives a nod.</p><p> </p><p>When he returns, he holds one large plastic cup in front of his chest but doesn’t even notice until he’s face to face with Atem. He shakes his head in disbelief over the silly mistake, sighs, and presses the cup into Atem’s hands, but before he turns away to get one more, Atem stops him.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we … just share … this one?” Atem asked quietly, ducking his chin but keeping eye contact.</p><p> </p><p>Yugi tucks the side of his lips into a smile. He ordered one only by mistake, not used to being two now. But now, standing here, holding the cup while Atem’s hand lingers on top of his, he, too, prefers to share anyway. He points toward the rare exit of the mall. “Let’s go out there. I want to show you something before getting food.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem grabs his hand, linking their fingers. “You are showing me something all day already.” He can’t recall ever holding someone else’s hand before, even though he is sure there must have been times. Maybe he has been waiting for this hand for his whole life. He still hasn’t entirely eased into his body, still got lost in the idea of growing back together by a miracle. But whenever those moments hit him, he reaches for Yugi’s hand or places his palm on his lower back, confirming that his hand can perfectly adjust to Yugi’s shape. That is the crucial part. Like a two-piece puzzle. He expects to never fit onto anyone else even though he knows it doesn’t work like that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The street is filled with people, filled with noises and drifting colors and shreds of conversation. Laughter, nagging, scuffling. A tipsy office lady bumps his shoulder, and he clenches his fingers a bit tighter—a subconscious act to protect the connection. She apologizes hastily. In the close distance, a palace of sorts peeks out of the crowd from behind a gate. He swallows.</p><p> </p><p>The gate is open but flanked by two ferocious half-beasts; the place beyond is undoubtedly under their protection. A garden, and a broad but tall building. All colorful and pompous in reds and gold and black. Thick at the bottom to stand mighty and flanked with a tower, jabbing the early moon right in its belly with its peak. “What is this?”</p><p> </p><p>He would have stopped, but Yugi pulls him through underneath the gate like it means nothing. Atem’s heart is racing under the creature’s glaring scrutiny. He holds his breath in hopes of suppressing the adrenaline tainting his blood vessels. What if they uncover his fraud and send him right back to the afterlife to expiate his fateless behavior? He presses his eyes shut.</p><p> </p><p>They emerge on the other side, just fine—cold sweat on his forehead.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a shrine. Maybe not so different from the temples in Egypt. We come here to make wishes to gods and other spirits.”</p><p> </p><p>“It is … so…” He doesn't have the words for it. It feels ancient and wondrous, and he does not doubt that a god is at home here. But right behind it are the tall city’s legions led by Kaiba Tower shooting into the sky. Like looking at two times at once. At the foot of the building, other couples are taking pictures.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to make a wish?” Yugi steps onto the stairs and stares at the giant rope hanging from the ceiling above the shrine’s entrance.</p><p> </p><p>Atem follows. “But … these aren’t my gods…”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi then turns to him and smiles. “They don’t care.” He retrieves one of the coins from his pockets and throws it into a big red box before them. Then he reaches out to Atem again.</p><p> </p><p>Grateful for the engagement, Atem takes his hand and steps next to his partner. “Did you just pay them?” he whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“Just a little encouragement.” He links their arms together, pulling Atem very close, and then the rope attached to a giant bell. Yugi rings once. “Just do as I do. And think about what you really want.” He bows, towing Atem along, then claps twice. A shy echo follows from Atem.</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, Yugi is quiet, and Atem realizes it is the time to talk to this god. He stares inside the empty hall behind the entrance and talks, silently, without the promise of an answer.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps it is futile, but for one last time, he wants to try. He closes his eyes. The way they stand here, close together, heads bent down, copying each other, he tries to peek into his thoughts. But nothing. He is left wondering what it could be that Yugi prayed for this time. Once, it was him who Yugi had wished upon. Now, it is a different spirit, and Atem doesn’t get to hear it. He purses his lips flat and clenches his teeth until his jaw hurts. His stomach hardens and lays heavy inside him. He comes close to gloating into the empty shrine hall when Yugi’s arm pulls him gently out of this emotion. To bow once more.</p><p> </p><p>The moment passes, and they make room for a beautiful woman in her late fifties who has been waiting behind them for her turn at prayer. What a busy god, Atem thinks.</p><p> </p><p>“You know,” Yugi interrupts his brooding. “You don’t need to worry about what I wished for.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem blinks and clears his throat. “I—.” He scratches his nose, looking off to the side. “I wasn’t even thinking about that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm… Sure.” They follow a long alley of stalls between the shrine and the main road leading back to the station.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The taverns around this area call for older customers. With Jounouchi and the others, he would go to Burger World instead. But for the occasion, this place was perfect. Not just to show Atem all the fantastic food these places offer but also to indulge in a more grown-up atmosphere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He directs Atem toward a place he’d been to before. Upon Atem’s request, they sit outside. The street lights are lit by now. The sun is vanishing, dimming the downtown in a faint gleam of after-day. Red ball-shaped lanterns paint romance onto the street toward the shrine. Under their glow, Yugi’s face softens more than usual, his features blurred just a little by the bokeh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From the other side of the table, Yugi observes the young night’s shadow cover Atem’s face with an old mystery. Something he recognizes from what seems to be a very long time ago. Something he has already forgotten about. A familiar, angsty shimmer that sends shivers down his spine. If it hadn’t been for the waiter interrupting the moment, perhaps he would have remembered the very early nights of their togetherness. When his shadow would startle him at times, and he would get lost within the depths of their soul rooms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He takes it upon himself to place the order for a variety of small dishes, and for a few minutes, they both remain quiet, each within their thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atem listens to the chatter from people passing by and the ones at the tables around them. The rustling of branches in the trees bordering the street, the staff shouting orders at each other. Cats meowing in the distance. First, he is stunned by the chaotic beauty. But it also makes him think of the others. Jounouchi, Anzu, Honda. They should be here, too. Ryou and Ryuji. Kaiba should be invited, even though he would never come. Seth, also, had often declined gatherings.</span>
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</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The noises fill up his head. They become more and bigger and louder but less easy to distinguish, the more he tries. He pushes his legs forward under the table until they hit Yugi’s—because seeing him isn’t really enough right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yugi’s face is open, with deep eyes. And there are thoughts buried behind them. His head, as Atem knows all too well, is always busy with ideas and intentions and worries, too. But they had become inaccessible, now that he could look at him and see him clearer than ever before. And he can touch him now, too. And when he does, there is this electricity that makes him feel alive. Atem looks down at their hands holding each other. But what did that really mean? He shifted around on his chair. Why could he not hear him among all the noise inside his head?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulls away his hand, his fingers icy almost, but his leg still brushes against Yugi’s. When the waiter comes and places a bunch of small plates down on their table, his approach startles Atem. He turns away to escape the discomfort caused by the sudden tightness of the space around him until a cherished voice relieves the tension and has the world around them and his chest unknot again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry for going ahead, but I figured I should make the call on these.” Yugi hands him chopsticks and starts distributing some of the food onto even smaller plates. “So ...With your own body back, do you also recall your language? I mean, can you speak it?”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atem looks up. His throat is dry, and it takes him a second to understand what Yugi is asking. The soup of noises untangles. Strangers talking, glass against glass on the table next to them, drunk office workers celebrating their weekend. It’s okay, he thinks to himself, you can calm down. Isn’t all that matters that he is here? Deep, contented breaths tingle his nose, and he says: “Aiwa ya habibi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To Yugi, it is foreign magic, leaving him tranquil. “Did you curse at me?” He laughs because he doesn’t know how else to react, and from a faraway place, the pharaoh smiles at him and adds: “yumkin.” If there is such a thing as a cupid’s arrow, this would be it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Across the table, Yugi shudders. He first blames his imagination for the subtle touch to his hand. But when he looks down, it is true. Their fingertips caress each other yet again as if they aren’t a part of them and can’t be controlled. It is by no means the first time he notices, but it is unusually intense at that moment: When they touch, there is an electric current, different from when he touches any other person or object. Yugi thinks it’s their souls trying to pull back into each other, hindered by the new physical boundary that is Atem’s body. A little painful, but the beautiful kind. “So, will you go back to locking yourself inside?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atem hears himself laugh, and his grip grows stronger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is used to seeing the world through Yugi’s eyes and filtering each experience through his thoughts; A thing was never just a thing but whatever Yugi saw in it. But not anymore. He watches his own fingers move closer, pushing in between the other’s until they finally all lock in place. He doesn’t know what that feels like to Yugi, but he sees their hands loving each other. And has to fully acknowledge that it is wonderful. “No.” His voice feels comfortable for the first time. Along the length of his leg, Yugi’s ankle brushes in placid motion up and down. Bashful yet intrigued, Atem pays attention to how his body reacts to all these physical breaches. He also thinks back to what had happened in the photo booth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Too abruptly, Yugi removes his hand, leans back, and stretches. His leg stays in place. “Let’s eat and get home; you must be tired.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atem hums. “Yes. A little.” When he tries to pick some flesh off the grilled fish before him, the chopsticks slip out of his hand, which surprises both of them, and they join in laughter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure this will come back to you soon,” Yugi says, picks up some of the fish and holds it up to Atem’s face, who blushes but gladly accepts. It is the second-best thing he has ever eaten—right after pancakes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yugi is starving. He shovels bits and pieces into his mouth, making sure to give some to Atem here and there, even after he had gotten the hang of the chopsticks. And between all those tastes, he tells him about the other things he still wants to show him. Kaibaland, of course. Once Atem has met the others, nothing will stop him from dragging him there. And Karaoke, too! Though he clarifies that he sincerely hopes Atem isn’t a good singer on top of everything else, and if he were, he should keep it to himself. He orders some more food off the menu, things Atem finds ‘look good.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yugi…” After trying everything on the menu that appealed to him, Atem is full, yet he keeps picking at the dishes remaining on the table. He adores listening to this life that Yugi writes for him. But he can’t help his insecurity grinding down these stories, the more he allows himself to indulge in their lore. “Don’t … get me wrong, I… I, too, love being able to enjoy all this with you… It is … really nice…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yugi snatches some Ginnan from a plate. “But?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But…” Atem leans his leg further into Yugi’s. “It’s also scary. I gained this physical connection with you by … well, at the cost of something else….”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yugi picks up some seasoned cabbage. “I … don’t see it like that, you know.” He is interrupted by the staff, refilling their water, and waits until they are left alone again. “Our bond has never been physical in the first place. So whether we share a body or don’t, it doesn’t make a difference.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yugi spices some chicken skewers with a reddish powder from a box at the table-side. “You see… There are many ways of listening to others. You just need to learn how.” He leans back and takes a deep breath. “Since we left this morning, you … have reached to hold my hand twenty-two times, although I have let go of you again and again. Trust me, … I don’t need to be inside your mind to know that you miss this body.” He pulls the meat off the skewer and picks up a piece. “And that’s just an example.” He omits how </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> gravely misinterpreted Atem’s body language before to think he would kiss him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atem reaches for a piece, too, shifting it around through the powder before picking it up. He listens to the music in the background, and he watches his partner. The time calms down. Yugi lifts his head only briefly to look at him, but beneath his lashes lies a curiosity, desire even, to advance toward something new. It happens so abruptly Atem first mistakes it for a phantasm. But suddenly, he sees it all. Perhaps Yugi’s words woke him up to a reality he had refused to look at until now. His lips part slightly as if under his breath he is talking to himself. Yugi’s face is flushed with lights and body heat. He stops eating and straightens his back. Atem follows the movement. Indeed, he sees it now. Yugi was talking to him all along. Conveying comfort in the way he holds his body. Satisfaction in his smiles. Excitement with his wide eyes and the gleam beneath was the anticipation that Atem also felt within himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He fills his lungs with the heavy air around them and watches how Yugi tugs on his own fingertips. He remembers this habit. It is so apparent now; he feels stupid almost for not seeing it all along. The looks in the changing room. The curious moments in the photo booth. Playful cover of cupidity. Yugi bites his lower lip again, and now Atem knows it, too: that they are impatient in a way. Both of them. That they don’t exactly know how to move forward but want to so desperately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On the ride home, they don’t speak much. They sit in the back row again, sunken into each other, staring into the future while listening to their breathing and the bus’s pneumatic vanting. Even though they have so much to carry, they get off two stations too early and rather walk the rest from the city museum to the game shop. A familiar way that gives them more time to enjoy the short-term memory of the day and get lost in thoughts of the night ahead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atem doesn’t mind the saunter. He carries two big shopping bags in his right hand and holds Yugi with the other. Fully aware this time. They both exhale sharp and in unity when they turn the final corner toward the game shop. A lonely light illuminates the window of the upstairs living room. Grandpa wouldn’t be up at this time. Yugi assumes he forgot to turn off the light or perhaps had fallen asleep on top of some work. He smiles and rubs his finger over the back of Atem’s hand. “Let’s be quiet when going up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They sneak in and, to their surprise, find a big suitcase intrusively sitting in the small hallway. His mom was back. They stand in the entrance area, listening to the silence. When they conclude out of nothing that no one else was awake, they slither up the stairs and into their room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After taking a shower, while Yugi is still in the bathroom, Atem slowly distributes all the things they bought today on the floor, spreading them over the carpet and onto the bed even since there isn’t enough space. Wordlessly he reviews all the small moments of the day one after another. It isn’t wrong. No mistake after all. He pushes the clothes together into a pile and instead places his Dark Magician in front of him. He bows—his forehead comes close to touching the carpet. Then his low voice fills the dimly lit room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mahad. I’m sorry. I … will stay here for a while.” He pauses and listens, scratching his naked knees. “I waited so long. And he found me. So… I hope you can understand that I need to stay by his side for a little bit.” He bows again. “Forgive my shameless greed.” He licks his lips and stares at the mage’s likeness, missing him so much that declaring his delay hurts himself in a way, too. “Tell Seth … and Mana…” a single tear comes from his loving eye, and he wipes it away. “Tell them I will surely come to join you one day.” Behind him, he hears a creaking, and he cleans his face of the sadness. He puts the card inside his deck and slides it aside, next to the table, facing away from the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door quietly closes again. “You alright?” Yugi walks over to stand behind him. Droplets of cold water drip from his hair down onto Atem’s shoulders. “You made quite the mess,” he acknowledges the state of his room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atem gets up and slowly pushes him back until they come to stand up against the bed. Yugi’s breath is shaking, which amuses Atem. This time he knows what Yugi is thinking about, though he will have to disappoint him again. By softly nudging his shoulders, he makes Yugi sit down on the floor, back leaned against the wooden bed frame. His eyes almost pop out of his face, his cheeks are glowing, and Atem can’t help himself but laugh about it, although he, too, feels his face hot. He grabs the towel from around Yugi’s neck. “Dirty mind …,” he scolds his partner and goes to sit on top of the mattress, behind him, where he starts to dry his wet hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yugi’s shoulders sink as he pushes out of his lungs all the air that was tugged away there with his presumptions. Behind a pant, he says, so quiet Atem barely hears it, “s-sorry, I…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My bad for sending weird signals.” He gently rubs the hair, leaving goosebumps all over Yugi’s skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yugi’s chest is so light, his heart jumping all over the place. He crosses his arms before his chest and pulls his knees together, cringing over his thoughts and being called out on them. But Atem caressing him like this, it strikes nerves in him he didn’t even know he had. Nothing could possibly be nicer. If it wasn’t for his skin’s hypersensitivity and the fluttering in his chest, he might even fall asleep in the comfort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At one point, he realizes Atem has stopped. He turns around. Atem sits on the bed, legs crossed, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and his coy expression. Yugi picks himself up off the floor and crawls onto the mattress. He doesn’t stop until Atem leans back, resting his lower spine on the soft surface. Then his shoulders. Then his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yugi bends over him, supporting his body with his shaking hands propped up beside Atem’s head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atem smirks up at him, but it is barely visible in the low light. Only the moon shines in to give an idea. “Why are you hesitating?” He teases, but his voice isn’t half as cocky as he had calculated it to be. He picks at his fingertips and rubs his feet against each other. The humming of music seeps in through the window from a neighboring balcony. A fluttery in his stomach, it feels as if he could shatter to pieces.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two can play this game, Yugi thinks. “You want me to speed it up?” He, too, pretends to be less nervous and fails. After all his attempts at convincing Atem that they still understand each other blindly, it is him now who is left questioning, as Atem stretches the silence. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Touché</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” he finally releases his partner, letting him breathe again. “I dare you to stay like this until the morning.” Atem bites his lower lip, holding Yugi’s gaze firmly, heartbeat drumming through his iris. “I hear this particular moment is something you can share only once, so… I don’t mind if it takes forever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Trying to cover his smile by looking away, Yugi says: “That’s almost poetic.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atem lifts one hand toward Yugi’s head, shivering fingertips hovering above the white skin of his neck. “I know, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yugi does not dare to move. His heartbeat is so erratic now, and his head so light he worries about fainting. Already the shapes around them start to blur together—his hairline tingles where Atem’s hand touches his temple.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well… I say that, but I might not be able to wait that long. And your arms might get tired.” He touches his fingers to Yugi’s forehead and drags them down along the bridge of his nose and to its tip. And from there to his lips. Yugi’s eyes are closed by then, and he moves his head into the touch, placing a tender kiss onto the fingers. Atem shivers but doesn’t pull away. “I … want to kiss you,” he says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yugi feels his head imploding. “Y-you don’t have to say it like that… J-just ….” He wants to peek but doesn’t. He hears Atem move on the mattress. He lowers his head under the magnetism of Atem's eyes. Their lips hover above each other, close enough to count as a touch but not enough to count as a kiss. Two seconds, three seconds, four seconds, they just breathe into each other. Finally, it is Atem who closes whatever space remains between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A cocoon of butterflies explodes in Yugi’s belly. He doesn’t know if life is possible any further away from him than this.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Day 8 <em> post resurrectionem </em>.</p><p> </p><p>Sunday. He is wide awake, fueled by warmth and desire and greed and love. The morning bleeds into the room through the open window—a fresh breeze of air playing with his skin. They’re still looking into each other, their fingers interlocked, and it makes his knees weak and forces his lips apart. As if he has something to say. But he just listens to his heartbeat. Calm and grounded—that’s the effect Yugi has on him.</p><p> </p><p>With his free hand, Yugi tucks Atem’s hair behind his ear, providing the touch his body is craving. Beneath the skin, his nerve endings tingle. “Will you be alright?” Yugi whispers.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought I wasn’t meant to live. That I didn’t belong here and that it was a mistake.” Atem speaks quietly, but the fear has left his voice. “But I got it all wrong. It’s hard to explain, but I believe that something … paused me for the past 5000 years, so that I can be here with you now.”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi’s lips part for a reply but his phone rings. He turns away and checks the message. His mom, asking if he is awake and wants breakfast. A question lingers between them, but Yugi doesn’t want to push. “I—”</p><p> </p><p>Atem moves the blanket. “Well, I guess I should introduce myself to your family.” Already he searches for the right and appropriate things to say. “If that’s alright with you.”</p><p> </p><p>Yugi’s face beams with a smile that is hard to contain, wide from one ear to the other. “Yes.” He holds onto the blanket, pulling it into his face before straightening himself to get out of bed. He turns around to admire Atem like a picture in a museum. The centerpiece. “But put on a shirt, okay?” He says and turns his flushed face, not before Atem spots it. “They’ll be shocked enough as is.”</p><p> </p><p>He grabs his phone to respond to his mom, sending some sort of warning. He has brought someone home. He would like them to meet. He’s not going to play him off as a friend. His family will welcome him no matter what. “Gosh.” He looks up, tosses the phone aside, and watches Atem crawl out of bed, recalling what he had said. “I am … sorry I made you wait this long.”</p><p> </p><p>Atem stretches his body. The blanket draped across his shoulders like a cape, he leans over and kisses Yugi's temple. “I would do it again.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>_________________________________</p><p> </p><p>If I come back to this story one day, I might just want to write the extra chapter of Atem teaching Yugi how to ride a horse! (because that's been on my mind ever since I started writing this)<br/> </p><p>To @PuzlDragon</p><p>I sincerely hope this came close to what you had hoped for! I know, I went off the rails a bit there in between... , but I think the prompt is still in there somewhere(??)<br/>This was much harder to write than I had anticipated. Turns out, fluff is not at all my strong point hehhe.... </p><p>Well! Anyhow, it was a lot of fun getting into a ship I have never written (only read) before.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>disclaimer: the chapter titles for this work are taken from the lyrics to John Legend's 'All of Me'.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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